Scratch

I see possibilities in scratch. Multiple universes, even.

In my younger years, I loved to write and draw at blank spaces - I even wrote the first three letters of my name on my parent's marriage certificate at five years old! Silly little girl. I still do love both writing and drawing, but I now have a defined purpose of creating something, not just the eagerness of having my name scribbled on that blank page, or of having something pretty to look at after.

A lot of things can be thought of and created when confronted by a blank page.  Sometimes, I see my parents dancing to Huling El Bimbo when I was about eight; my first day of school with Ate and her warm spanish bread, the wind gushing at my face during our walk to the school; there are flash backs of the scene on my first kiss, all with butterflies in the stomach, shaky lips, and sweaty palms; there's the long and boring graduation ceremony and how I felt when I realized it was the end of my student life; my very first job interview where I cried because my then soon-to-be boss asked about my mother. I can also see myself creating pieces for my first solo art show; my siblings getting married and our children being silly, just as we were when we're kids. I can see how I'd create when I'm older, how I will be as a wife, a mother.  I envision how I’d age.

I see myself doing a lot of different things, at different points in time - simultaneously - all in that one blank page. 

Starting from scratch is something we all do, in fact, that is how we kick start things in all aspects of our lives. We start from zero then gradually we begin to unravel the wonder of creating moments, seconds and hours, days and years. Next thing we know there is a lifetime ahead of us, made out of those building blocks that we've unconsciously assembled one after the other.

Scratch papers for me are not just scratch. These are important tools that will satisfy my final output. The things I’d write or draw on them may not be pretty or grand, but they’d serve their purpose of honing my skills, crafting my imagination, and diving into the deeper recesses of my being.  No matter how many scratch papers may have ended up into the trash bins, each piece of paper holds an important part of me – my ideas. What good ideas I might have on the previous scratch papers, these will be integrated onto the next batch, which will then be generating more and more impressions of what I want my piece to look like when finished. These are my possibilities – all scrawled in scratch papers.

They are idea builders, dream holders. And I am the creator.

We all are.

We create. We make our own paths, and we make the very first step even with cold feet and anxious selves. No matter how many errors we make along the way, there are still ideas we’d take on with us in the next steps. We may not be fully aware of it at the moment, but every time we decide to do things, it brings us closer to what we are destined to be. Yes, even when choosing our undergarments' colors leads us to where we should be. :)

There will be multiple universes and thousands of possibilities, but there will only be one final piece for each of us.