Find the Courage to Do What Sets Your Soul on Fire

Dear is sick since yesterday that's why I went back to the apartment solo today. That meant I have free time from 6PM onwards so I decided to do some practice. There was no time for me to do even a small sketch during the holidays, I guess it’s really a good time for me to do this. It felt good to at least finish 25% of the portrait – given the lack of practice plus the I-can’t-fit-sketching-to-my-schedule attitude I have these past weeks.

December was a crazy month anyway, I didn’t even bother to try sketching. I hope this year, I’d be more productive work-wise and art-wise – and I also hope I can finally have the courage to chase that wild goose, or that elusive pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

Okay, okay. Let's be realistic:

I’d pray to have the courage to really do what sets my soul on fire.

2015 was a year of chickening out – there were invitations to join a number of exhibitions but as coward as I may get, I said NO because (a) I cannot fully commit due to my day job and won’t be able to finish x number of works at a given time, and (b) I don’t think I/my art was good enough. Lame excuses, I know. It was a year of complacency and being stagnant. I didn’t even realize it, but I was stuck. I wasn’t progressing as a person and as an artist. My art was put into the compartment when it should have been on the passenger seat. I felt lost.

Browsing through Instagram and looking at the work of those I follow, I realized that they won’t be where they are, they won’t be good enough as they are now if they hadn’t taken the first step, right? If that wasn’t enough, divine intervention happened and I ran into a couple of artist friends earlier on my way to the apartment. They are living the dream and working their asses off to stay in the game. Both of them are younger than I am, but are already established in the art industry. I was given an unsolicited pep talk and they forced me to drink a dose of reality. I felt like I was spanked by my parents because I didn't do what I should have done.

I’m lucky to have such friends, who despite being popular and great, are always there when you most needed their push. Despite the distance and years that kept you apart, they'd still have that urge to give you a hit at the head because you’re being stupid and “you’re wasting your skills and your time.” 

I finally came back to my senses. 

I will do my very best to be open to opportunities and challenges as they come, and hopefully I’d be able to kick start my way to doing what I really love - one step at a time. 

Here is my progress so far:

25% done. Need to layer it more and my sketch is finished!

For now, I have to say good night and can't wait to hustle tomorrow!